Thursday, February 25, 2010

Thursday Thoughts

I had a great time at Laura's shower.
Can't believe I haven't seen her in almost 5 years.
It felt like a few days, she is still the same Laura, I miss her!
She is hilarious, can't wait to see her baby.
I got to see Camie, Heather and Jocelyn as well.
Love seeing my friends.
p.s. I apologize to Laura and her grandparents for how out of control Ever was. I swear she does not always act like that. holy cow!

I love my in-laws. They are the best, I feel so at home at their house. They watched Ever for me so I could spend some time at the shower not chasing her around. I really appreciate them, she sure loves them.
One more month and Ever is 2. I was thinking about it today, I have been her mommy for 2 years now. It feels so much shorter than that, time goes so fast. I don't want her to grow up yet. I love her being little. I hope she always tells me she loves me before I say it. I hope she always wants me around and prefers me to hold her. I hope for a few more years she will cuddle up on my lap and go to sleep, give me kisses and not feel embarrassed, or have me lay by her and make up stories while she falls asleep. She is my best little buddy and such a good girl.

She picked put her dress up outfit here! She is such a girl, loves to play princesses and dress up.

Not a lot of time, short thoughts today!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Thursday Thoughts

My mind is filled this week, I can barely make sense of my thoughts. I will do my best to write them down and not be to long winded.

1. Ever keeps telling me she wants to be a sister, I am not sure where she is getting it from but she says it daily. I would love to do that for her, hopefully soon.

2. Having another baby scares me sometimes. I question how well I will handle it, I fear that I will not give Ever the attention she is used to, I get scared she will resent me. I am not sure I will be able to take great care of her while I am pregnant. I don't want to lay around and have to tell her I can't play with her or that I don't feel good. I get really nervous about it.

3. I love more than anything being her mommy, I definitely have moments when I think a break is much needed, for BOTH of us. Her as much as me, you can get to much of a person I think. Problem is when I am away I struggle enjoying myself. My mind is filled with her, how is she doing, is she being good. I feel guilty for leaving her with someone else. They have lives to and they don't need to be babysitting. This is the reason I have spent one night away from her, I don't like to be gone from her. I struggle with guilt a lot. I wish I could get over that a bit.

4. I tend to over react to a lot of the things Ever does. I should just brush it off I think, on the other hand I want her to know it is not ok, but she gets upset when I am upset and I feel that she is sad she let me down. I don't know how to handle this. She is a great little girl and I fear I will not teach her the best. I don't know if this is normal or makes sense. I just worry a lot about how I am doing as a mother, and maybe worrying so much about trying to teach her right and wrong or what is not ok is making me a worse mother. How do you handle being hit? I am not sure what will teach her that is not ok, nothing is really working yet.

5. Moving on from mommy things, I am so not a cook. I said it, don't enjoy it, not good at it, and really don't have the desire to be. I am sure Rhett would love if I could change that. I need some creativity in the kitchen.

6. I don't love being away from Rhett, at all. I think before Ever was born in our four years of marriage we spent like 6 nights apart total. He makes me feel safe, I love him and he helps me a lot. I will miss him while I am in stg this weekend. He probably likes some space from me, definitely not Ever, he loves her so much and hates to be away from her.

7. I am so nervous to take Ever to the dentist. When did you take your kid? I heard when they get teeth you should take them, well she has them all but 1. I think it is time, but will she freak?

8. Does anyone else hate the scale? I refuse to weigh myself. I hate that number, it can change so much and to be honest, if I know it I think a lot about it. It's been like 2 months since I stepped on it. I don't plan on getting on it soon. I didn't look at the scale my entire pregnancy. I really don't know what I gained, its just a number right?

9.I can't understand how I need to go to the stinking grocery store every single day pretty much. Does anyone else have this problem. Sometimes it is only for one thing, but I must not know how to shop. I don't have enough food to cook like a weeks worth of meals, I am so not good at that.

10. I do not get sick at the sight of blood, I handle those things well, unless it is with Ever. She has had some bad ones these last weeks and I hate it. I can barely look, I hate seeing her in pain. She got a serious treadmill burn on the side of her foot at her cousins house. It was so raw and blistered, she keeps telling me be careful with my owee.

11. I want to end on a good note, I love my life. I like to vent, who doesn't. I hope no one takes it as being negative. I am just being honest, I am a genuinely happy person. I love that I get to stay home and take care of Ever. I hold myself to a high standard, but I really don't think it is possible for me to love her anymore. There is always room for improvement and I will never stop trying to be the best mom for her. I say it a lot but I am so lucky she is mine forever.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Pay's

California is way to far. We miss you guys! Happy 10th birthday Madison and Adam! Hope to see you VERY SOON! We love you!

Monday, February 15, 2010

She hearts.........

and especially
Ever loves Holidays. She told us Happy Valentines all day. These pajamas were a hit. I knew she would love them. Daddy said she can't leave the house in them, luckily I usually get her dressed before we venture out. We ended our day by meeting some cousins for dinner at the mayan. The kids had a blast, we were there forever but they still had fun. It was a fun day!


My little family!!!!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Thursday Thoughts

1. Thursday came to fast this week!!!!

2. We went to the zoo yesterday with Tara, Teg, Kaity, and Halle. We were there with like 3 other families, if there were more we didn't see them. It was awesome, I loved how mellow it was. I think we will go a lot more before it warms up to beat the crowds.

3. I saw dear John this week, I really liked it. I am a sucker for love movies though. And Nicholas Sparks is sure good at writing them. I cried like a baby though.

4. I am pretty sure what not to wear is going to show up at my door very soon. Sometimes I think I can't help it though, I am so so so picky on how my clothes fit me. Or feel for that matter, I hate any tightness and bands and anything I have to adjust a lot. It really is bad, I don't know how to not be that way though. So this problems means I rarely look cute, I wear baggy clothes a lot and I don't know what to do.

5. I found a new dermatologist this week. I had a spot on my face that showed up and changed a lot within like 3 weeks. Got it removed yesterday by a cosmetic dermatologist. Wasn't sure I trusted the other guy by the looks of the scars he has given me. I am already ready to take the bandaid off my face, Ever keeps asking to look at my owee. He froze a spot of my leg also, hope it stays away. I don't know what else I can do to prevent this. I have had a lot of people say I need to eat better. I KNOW!!!!! I need to train my taste buds bad. I CANT STAND lettuce, celery, peppers and onions. I am weird, the texture makes me gag. I swear, always has. So I just need to suck it up and deal I guess. If it will help I need to do it.


7. Ever is getting her last 2 teeth, upper molars, its awesome, haha.

8. Ever knows most her shapes now, I put a video on the bottom. The funny thing is we don't sit and go over them really, she just picks it up here and there. I think I will start working on lower case letters though. Some people say she is just a kid and leave her alone, I think if she likes it and I don't approach it like work or make her get it right then what the heck! She is nutso!

9. I am so glad I didn't let instacare put stitches in her lip, it is healing so nicely.

10. Does anyone have a room in there house that they hate, its got junk, unorganized and you don't want to try an attempt to bother with it? I do, and I am going to leave it for now, unless you want to come do it!

11. I have not felt like talking a lot lately, I just want to be quiet, not sure what that is all about, but I know it is not depression, no matter what people say! I am just quiet K!!!!!

12. I am a little pissed it snowed today, I am done!!!!!!!

13. I want a house cleaner! NOW!

14. On a positive side I am excited to go to STG for a few short days next weekend to see Laura, and some family!

My Ev is getting some green eyes, especially when she cries, she didn't want to go to the doctor.

She looks like a pirate when she smiles to big!

Monday, February 8, 2010

4 Valentines....

My Mom and Tegan share a birthday, and it is on FEBRUARY 14th!!!! It is really special and my mom would like to make it a tradition to take her picture with her grandkids every valentines. I think it is a darling idea. She is the most amazing Grammy! She spends so much time with the kids, she loves them so much and they surely LOVE her! They are sure lucky to have her in their life. Tara and I appreciate her more than she will know. We can always count on her and she is so selfless when it comes to us and her grand babies! We love you MOM! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you to Teegy Teeg!!!

I was lucky enough to get to take some pictures of these cute peeps! It really was a pleasure doing it, they were all great, beautiful and so much fun! I want to have Jace forever! I could eat him up! His mom is Jodi and she sure dresses him darling. Her neice Makayla came and had some pictures done to to surprise her mom, she sure is a beautiful, and only 10. It was great fun, I have about 90 thousand to edit, so this is a few so Jodi can see! Hope you like them!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thursday thoughts

Tegan is totally going to walk so soon, Ever thinks she can help him, she tries but usually goes to fast, I just think they are so cute!
I love this picture, Ever can be really sweet sometimes, I love it when she is!
Does anyone else have a kissing cousin picture? Yes Tegan gives open mouth kisses but it is still cute!

She loves to listen to my ipod and dance, her baby has to be included in everything, even this!

She is so in love with gymnastics. She can now do so many things by herself. My fav is the bar, she puts her legs through her arms and flips through all by herself! She loves the trampoline a lot to!
She listens very well and follows the teacher who I love, I wish I had half her energy. Ever loves her!Grammy watches Ever at gym every thursday, never misses and always brings her a treat. It is so sweet and Ever loves it.
Tegan can't wait to join in the fun!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

do you think......

Do you think Ever looks like Shirley Temple? She gets that a lot when her hair is curly, I guess I have to agree now that I see the pics!!!

She sure is a cheese ball and I stinking love her GUTS!!!

(I was inspired to do this by facebook, you are supposed to put a picture up of a celebrity you get told you look like.)